I am so excited that I have been given an opportunity to write an article for a Utah Women's Magazine. Although we all know I always have plenty to say, I thought it would be great to seek advice to make the article more rich. I would love your point of views on the topic. So please take the below poll and also feel free to leave a comment and tell me what you think, your ideas or any thoughts you would love to see mentioned in this article. The topic is how to set guidelines and/or rules with your children. The main focus is on pre-teens/teens but I will take any and all advice. Don't have a teen? That's okay tell me what your plan is. How do you plan to set your guidelines and continue to have a good relationship with your teen?
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- MommaDJane
- I'm MommaDJane: a single mother of three amazing children. I left the corporate world to care for my daughter with disabilities who had brain surgery. I blog about climbing the ladder to success (in life) one broken step at a time over at MommaDJane's blog. I started blogging on blogger and now have moved over to self-hosted WP found at www.mommadjane.com
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9 comments:
If you've read my parenting posts of late, you know my position. I think that kids take comfort in knowing there are limits; limits provide security. I suppose limits are easier to accept for kids with certain temperaments, but mostly, I believe that if you start early, you'll have few problems later on. Congrats on getting this opportunity! :)
Mrs4444, I couldn't agree more! I am trying to stay open to difference of opinions for the article so reaching out to everyone. I do agree though, without limits kids can have a difficult time succeeding in life later on. Just my two-cents of course. :)
I am not a mother but look forward to it, nor do I have a teenager. However, I babysit 2 children (10 and 4) and I can tell you that each situation to me needs to be handled differently. The 10 year old is becoming a teenager more and more each day and it is a fight to get him to listen. I think he has outgrown the "take away TV for a week" approach.
Now that I am in college, I can honestly look back at some of the mistakes my parents made in raising me and I make it a point not to make the same. These weren't huge mistakes, but enough that I would notice. I do agree with Mrs4444, that is such a good viewpoint on this topic.
I look forward to reading your article :)
I voted! Good luck with your article!
I voted but I am sure u know my vote ;-) Chat w/ u 2marro I am off to bed. Check out store I put more cards up! ttyl
I like your blog - I stole a button!
Totally missed it....lol ... guidelines I will have for my kids WHEN they are teens...
1st I will ensure an open communication with them through out their child hood years so they know they can come to me no matter what. it's all about building trust, letting go, and hoping all you have taught them will come out.
I truly believe you need to allow teens to make their own mistakes {that is if they are not in major danger} and teach them to learn from those mistakes.
Good luck with your article!
Hugs,
@brandyellen
I'll be honest. I didn't vote. None of the answers were quite appropriate for our home.
Our guidelines are set with our values in mind. As Christians, we believe in God's Word and therefore we believe we have absolute truths. So, we've tried our best to establish guidelines in our house that are based on those truths. So: I can't say "because I said so", my kids definately have guidelines, our guidelines are similar to those I grew up with but are not necessarily the same, and the situations surrounding the event do not change the guideline.
Sorry if this sounds preachy, but it's how stuff flies at our house.
BTW: at our house they are called rules, a little old-fashioned, but...
I think there should be limits that your child knows they should not overstep. However, I also think it is very important to talk about life and things that may come up with your teen. I do not have a teen just yet, but my goal is to make sure she knows she can tell me anything so we can work things out together. I do not want my kids hiding important matters from me if at all possible.
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